How to Stop Overthinking When Dating Someone New

How to stop overthinking when dating someone new is a course for concern for many people. So, if you are in this boat, be rest assured you are not alone – but do all you can to get out of it as soon as possible.

Dating someone new is a huge opportunity for you to wipe the slate clean and have a fresh start in life. There is a high possibility that if you overthink in a relationship, you will deprive yourself all the benefits and avenues for you to gain true happiness.

Although it is difficult – I agree, you should always try to leave out your past when getting into a new relationship. Do not come in with any baggage, and do not hold on to any regrets.

There is a reason your past relationship(s) did not work out, and you need to be positive that it was all for the best. Overthinking can destroy your new relationship even before it kicks off, and I am sure you do not want that.

In this article, I have highlighted reasons why you should stop overthinking in your new relationship – in case you haven’t made up your mind. I have also included tips on how to stop overthinking when dating something.

[Also Read: How to Let Go Of Ex You Love And Move On]


Why You Should Stop Overthinking When Dating Someone New

You may be wondering why you should stop overthinking when dating someone new and how it can affect your current relationship. Perhaps you have reasons why you should stop overthinking but do not know the severity of engaging in overthinking.

Well, below are some of the reasons why you should stop overthinking when dating someone new.


8 Reasons Why You Should Stop Overthinking in Your New Relationship

1. Overthinking Can Lead to Wrong Decisions

One major problem with overthinking is that it makes you over analyze an issue you ordinarily shouldn’t give a second thought. What happens when you do this is that you begin to see a different perspective to the issue – which leads to more analysis.

In the process, you may be caught in a narrative that is far from the truth or the true scope of things. This could lead you to make wrong decisions which you may end up regretting in the near future.

2. You Will Lose Control of Yourself

One thing you do not want to do in a new relationship is losing control of yourself. The moment you lose control of yourself, you will lose control of everything in your gasp and around you.

Overthinking makes you spend too much time in the subconscious and this puts your consciousness at risk. When you are overthinking about something you do not have control over or a solution to, you will lose control of the things you currently have – so, be very careful.

3. Deprives You of Enjoying the Moment

When you are in a new relationship, you should enjoy the moment. You should take advantage of the opportunity to build something meaningful from the scratch – something new, which you can call your own and enjoy.

But how can you build this or enjoy it when you are always overthinking and dwelling in the past. Overthinking deprives you of so much from living and enjoying the moment, so you remain stuck in your past with a memory or a fantasy that you can never own.

4. Reduces Your Self Esteem

When you are overthinking in a new relationship, you will not be able to move or grow into the present reality. This means that you will see yourself as someone who has been left behind and not on the same level as others around you.

As time goes on, you will notice that you are losing your self-esteem and you may start experiencing an inferiority complex whenever you are around others. This is because you have created an artificial issue for yourself due to overthinking.

[Also Read; How to Boost Your Partner’s Self Esteem And Make Them Feel Loved & Special ]

5. You Deprive Yourself of True Happiness

You must have heard the famous saying that happiness is the tonic of every relationship – well, I agree. When you are overthinking in a new relationship, you are not only depriving yourself of happiness, you are also depriving your young relationship of the tonic which will sustain its existence.

Because you are always sad and downcast, it is only a matter of time before this will rub off on your new relationship and this will cause serious problems because, without happiness in your relationship, nothing else can function – or grow.

6. It Can Lead to Depression

Depression is a constant feeling of critical dejection or despondency, and overthinking in a new relationship can be a gateway to depression. You probably know all the effects of depression, and I am sure you do not want any of those for yourself. [Read: Possible Reasons You Feel You Just Need to Be Loved]

Not wanting it doesn’t mean it will go away, rather, you need to stop overthinking right now. Slipping into depression is very easy but getting out of it can be a serious battle – which may end up involving therapy and advanced treatments. Trust me when I say you do not want to go down that line.

7. Passes the Wrong Impression About You

You may ask what does it matter, but the truth is that it matters a lot. Overthinking can make other people around you have a wrong impression of you. They would think the worst of you and this will affect your associations and company.

Regardless of what you believe, no one is an Island. We all need people around us, friends we can rely on in time of need and celebrations. You do not want to push good people from yourself just because you are overthinking in your new relationship and passing the wrong impression to others.

8. It Can Lead to Suicidal Thoughts

Suicidal thoughts? Yes! Suicidal thoughts. Overthinking can lead to suicidal thoughts and according to studies, if a person is having suicidal thoughts, there is a high possibility that he/she will carry out the thought one day.

Through overthinking, you will slowly lose your mind and consciousness, and once depression sets in, you are capable of losing your mind over something that is not worth a second thought. The intriguing thing is that overthinking in itself is already a suicide of the mind, meaning that through overthinking, you are killing yourself one bite at a time.

[Also Read; How Social Media Is Already Killing Your Relationship]


How to Stop Overthinking When Dating Someone New

Now you know all the reasons why you should stop overthinking when dating someone new. Now the question is how you will stop overthinking, knowing its adverse threats to not just your new relationship, but to yourself.

Below, I have highlighted 8 ways you can stop overthinking in a relationship. These steps will set you on a path of freedom and happiness in your new relationship.


8 Ways to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship

1. Accept What Has Happened and Move On

One reason why many people overthink is that they are still stuck in their past. It means you are still in self-denial and have not accepted what has happened to you. When you have not done this and put the past behind you, you will not be able to move forward.

You can only move forward if you have accepted your past and moved on. Remaining in your past is a big reason why people overthink in a new relationship. Put the past behind you and move on. [Read: How to Know When to Give Up On Someone]

2. It Is Not As Deep As It Seems

Sometimes there are situations that may look like the world has come to an end – especially for you. But guess what, the world is not coming to an end and the issue isn’t as deep as it seems.

The moment you understand that no issue is as deep as it seems, the easier it becomes, and the more you consider an issue as a mountain, the more it becomes one. Always take a deep breath, make a decision and move on, because honestly, it is not as deep as it seems.

3. Stop Searching for Too Many Opinions

I have said this countless times and I can never get tired of telling ladies that they should stop sharing too much about their life issues with friends. I am not saying you cannot speak up about your personal problems, do not get me wrong.

What I am saying is that you should not seek too many opinions, thereby putting yourself in a mess trying to figure out which opinion to go ahead with. By doing so, you will spend time overthinking – trying to analyze each of the opinions.

4. Engage in Something That Distracts You from Overthinking

One of the ways you can stop overthinking in a new relationship is by engaging yourself in something meaningful. If you are busy or engaged in something, you will not have time to dedicate to thinking.

Most of the time, the reason why people overthink in a new relationship is that they basically have nothing to engage their minds and body. Even if you are on a vacation or leave from work, look for something you can engage yourself in.

5. Get Closer to Your New Partner

One of the best ways – and my favorite advice for people who want to stop overthinking in a new relationship is to get closer to their new partner. When you are in a new relationship, do not waste your time overthinking about your past relationship.

Rather, you should focus on building your new relationship by getting closer to your new partner. Focus on learning something new about them daily, and you will find out that you will have no time for overthinking.

[Also Read; How to Tell You’re Tired of Being the Side Chick]

6. Focus on Not Making the Same Mistakes

Rather than overthinking in a new relationship and ruining your chance for happiness in the new relationship, you should focus on making amends. Try as much as possible not to make the same mistakes as you made in your previous relationship.

Focus on becoming a better version of yourself and building a better relationship. This will keep you engaged and you will not have the time to ruin your new relationship or yourself with overthinking.

7. Work on your Self Esteem

A lot of people overthink in a new relationship as a result of low self-esteem. At a point in your life, you need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself some frank questions – that will task your mentality and rekindle the belief in yourself.

You need to work on your self-esteem because no one will do it for you. As a lady, you need to work on your self-esteem and eliminate any trace of inferiority complex, so as to enable you stop overthinking in a relationship.

8. Change Your Goal

You can stop overthinking in a relationship by changing your goal. If you are overthinking in a relationship, it means you have a goal that is in the past. You should change that goal or raise the bar higher.

When you do this, you will not have a reason to continue overthinking in your new relationship. Apart from changing your goal, I will also advise you to stay positive and not allow anything to weigh you down because it will affect you and destroy your new relationship. – and I bet you do not want that!



There are many reasons why you may be overthinking in your new relationship, and I totally agree that no article can fully offer the right amount of solace you truly need.

However, you should know that your decision to go into a new relationship in the first place is a sign that you need a change and want to experience something totally new. If you have made that decision, then there is no reason why you should continue thinking about your past.

Stay strong, stay positive and do everything in your power to stop overthinking in your new relationship. Free yourself from your past so that you can access the opportunities and happiness that lie ahead.