Well, this is the 25th century, a lot of people are in many ships in the name of a romantic relationship and that includes situationship. The question is, which are you? Are you in a romantic relationship with the person you are with currently, or it’s just a fling? Maybe You would be able to answer these questions if you get to know what a situationship is, and understand the signs that comes with situationship.
17 Signs You are in a Situationship And Not Relationship
What Is Situationship?
Will it be better if I call it purgatory or stagnant water? That is actually a perfect way to define it. A situationship is an undefined affair between two people; they do almost everything that other people in a relationship do; they go intimate, and even go on dates, but can’t say that they are in a relationship because it isn’t official.
Oftentimes, situationships turn into a real relationship but most times, it remains stagnant for years until the parties involved decide to pull out finally. The male gender likes this kind of affair because it lacks responsibility or commitment.
Now, back to the question, are you in a relationship or a situationship?
If you’re still not sure, here are signs you are in a situationship, and they will help tell where you belong.
15 Signs You are in a Situationship And Not Relationship
1. No future in their talks
If they aren’t integrating you into their future plans, you are probably not part of them, and that tells that you are for the moment that will soon fade away. If they don’t discuss future plans with you, you should be worried because if you mean more to them, they would disclose their plans with you.
2. No commitment
If there is no atom of commitment between you two, it means that truly, there’s no string attached. A true romantic relationship is based on love and commitment, and if yours lacks it, you’re definitely in a situationship. You should either pull out or call for a serious conversation.
3. You’ve not met with friends
Any man that is serious with you will make every necessary move to introduce you to their friends, and the same with the girls. They would love to show you off to their colleagues, take you to a high school reunion, and other places to make you seen by people that matter to them.
4. No sacrifices
Well, if they aren’t making some sacrifice for the relationship then you shouldn’t be in that relationship, because it isn’t safe in any way. What is a relationship without sacrifice from both parties? A good relationship comprises of two people who make sacrifices for each other on a daily basis.
5. No public outing
Like dating in a secret place or dating indoors only. If they aren’t proud enough to show you off, this might be for two major reasons. It can either be that you are their second choice or that you are nothing but a phase. Your lover should be able to prepare and present you to the world as a part of them.
6. No Atom of Jealousy
Okay, inasmuch as jealousy isn’t really encouraged, but when it comes to a love relationship, it is expected but in a very little and healthy portion. If your man isn’t slightly jealous when he sees you hanging out with the opposite gender, you should probably think about it.
7. Lack of Adequate Communication
Everyone knows about this, even the teenagers in the high school know about the long hours call that lovers make when they’re away from each other. Yours won’t be different if you’re in a relationship. The longing to be with each other should be there and it shouldn’t be one-sided.
8. They Cheat
It’s obviously a situationship if they are cheating on you with someone else, you don’t need to be told. Relationship is bonded with love, togetherness, and trust, and if they are cheating, it indicates that you have none with them, so, why go ahead with it?
9. Absence of Truth
This is among the basic requirements for a relationship that must stand the test of time. It is expedient and if something such as this is found wanting in a relationship, it makes the whole union frustrating and energy-sapping. Any relationship that gives you a headache is a situationship.
10. No Regard for Your Value
People who are in love respect their partner’s values and principles. Anyone who isn’t ready to flow with your principles isn’t ready to take you as a partner, and you must learn to let go to avoid frustration and bitter moments.
11. No Financial Commitment
Love is synonymous with giving. The one who loves you must be ready to love with his/her finance too. If he rarely gets you gifts, he might either be a stingy one or he might be giving it to someone else who matters most to him.
12. Little or No romance, Just Sex
Romance is a language that communicates love and passion, and this is why most women prefer it to sex. It is a preparatory ground for the adventure called sex, and only the men that love their women take their time to show or express love through romance. If your man does not do this, it shows he does not care about your emotions.
13. No Genuine Compliment
Does he tell you how beautiful you are? Does he compliment your effort to look good for him? Does she tell you how nice you smell? Does she compliment your personality or strength of character? These are the questions that you need to answer if you want to know your stand. If they do not compliment you in any way, you might be in a serious situationship.
14. No Flirting
As a lady, you should be restricting his airflow, you should be making his heart beat faster. He should keep staring at you when you’re together. She should be able to talk to you romantically on the phone, chats, etc, she should want you always and be able to communicate her yearning for you. If these and more aren’t seen, then you’re in a situationship.
15. They Don’t Take You Seriously
Then, you don’t need to be told. Anyone that doesn’t take you seriously doesn’t love you, and what is a relationship without love? You are either the second choice or just an urge quenching tool. Some men do that often these days and surprisingly, women also keep such relationships. This is definitely one of the signs you are in a situationship.
16. They Make Up Excuses
Another signs you are in a situationship and not relationship is too much making of excuses. When people don’t value your person, when they don’t desire you anymore or have no love whatsoever for you, they begin to give you no significant excuses to back up their inability to make themselves available for you.
17. They Don’t Have Your Pictures
Lovers use their pictures as a display picture, as a background picture, and even as their screen saver. This goes a long way to tell that their presence really matters to them. Does your partner have your pictures? Does he flaunt it here and there? These questions need answers.
It’s very far from the “friends with benefit” kind of relationship. This is simply a relationship where the parties are for their personal gain, no emotional attachment, no expectations. Most times, it’s for sexual satisfaction.
To better help you understand, here are some tips for clarity sake;
Situationship VS Friends With Benefits
1. A “friends with benefit” kind of relationship is strictly for sexual needs, and no romance attached, while situationship, although the commitment level isn’t significant, it has a minute level of romance attached, oftentimes.
2. Friends with benefits relationship can be likened to the relationship a paid harlot has with their premium and regular client. They are called upon when needed to come to satisfy a sexual urge for money. Situationship isn’t the same; it can be called a pseudo-relationship.
3. The people that engage in a “friends with benefit” kind of relationship are not interested in the pressure and discomfort that come with a true relationship, hence, they settle to being platonic friends.
4. In “Friends with benefit” relationship, the purpose of the relationship is communicated from the beginning and, as such, those involved know their boundary, are obligated to remain in their lane, and are not expected to look or wish for more from the relationship, but a situationship isn’t, it’s utterly undefined from start.
5. A situationship can be likened to a parasitic relationship where only one person benefits while the other suffers tremendously. Because it isn’t defined, the person at the expecting end suffers from things like frustration, anxiety or, even depression.
6. In FWB, you are allowed to keep as much people as you want, as much sex partners as you desire, and so does the other person, but in a situationship, it is probably just a person hanging out with other persons while the other at the end, wait and expect.
7. In FWB, it’s freedom to those involved, they enjoy the relationship together, and are more predominant amongst men while situationship isn’t that comforting and women are always victims of situationship, although men sometimes, suffer the same.
If you’re in a situatinship, it’s only advisable that you pull out or progress it into a true relationship by consciously doing some things that will help the relationship, which includes strictly defining what you both have with each other, and what you both want from yourselves. Defining it might open your eyes to why you must lose or keep it.