I can understand that you do not want to trust your boyfriend with female friends – and you are not interested in how to trust him with them. However, you will agree that sometimes you need to manage the situation rather than try to fight it. If his female friends are always going to be there, then you will need to learn how to trust your boyfriend with them.
The aim is to handle the situation in the best way possible – like a pro even so that it doesn’t jeopardize your relationship and lead to the worse. You cannot continue to fight about this or allow it to cause an issue every time.
If you feel your boyfriend is not able to establish the needed boundaries well enough, then there are ways you can do this without making a fuss or creating a scene out of it.
In this article, I have carefully highlighted some useful tips on how to trust your boyfriend with female friends towards achieving a better and more fulfilling relationship.
With these tips, you will win the battles against your boyfriend’s female friends you term ‘over intrusive’ without throwing a blow.
[Also Read; 15 Signs Your Boyfriend Likes his Female Friend]
16 Tips on How to Trust Your Boyfriend with Female Friends
Before you even think of paying too much attention to your boyfriend’s female friends, you will need to ask yourself the nature of their friendship. You cannot base your decisions solely on assumptions or on some selfish principles that your boyfriend cannot communicate with any female – except you.
However, if you sense some potential commitment, intrusive or boundary issues between your boyfriend and his female friend, you need to act fast before things get out of hand. These tips highlighted below will help:
1. Study and Understand Your Man
One thing many people do not pay enough attention to in a relationship is understanding their partner. We try to use the understanding of ourselves to judge others – including our partners, which is not supposed to be.
If you take the time to study and understand him, you will be able to trust him more – even with his female friends. The problem we sometimes have when it comes to understanding is that we want our partners to understand us and how we feel, but we do not try to do the same.
2. Take Out Time to Meet His Female Friend(s) in Person
So, rather than assuming the worst and beating yourself over it, take out some time to meet with your boyfriend’s female friend – and have yourself introduced properly and formally. Who knows, you two may become very close friends who will have a special bonding – outside your boyfriend (Isn’t that what you always wanted?)
You are not there to create any drama or confirm any assumptions; it is solely a harmless opportunity to ‘meet the female friend your boyfriend is always talking about’. You should try your best possible to show genuine interest and appreciation for meeting her.
3. Bring Up the idea to Invite Her Over
Anytime there is a gathering or celebration, try bringing up the idea to invite your boyfriend’s female friend over. Make your boyfriend understand that you have no issues with her coming around since ‘there is nothing between them.’
It is easier for you to trust your boyfriend’s female friend when they are meeting in your presence, rather than have meetings behind your back. If they have anything to discuss, they can always talk about it during that period.
4. Always Try to Introduce Her in Gatherings
This is a very smart move, albeit a risky one. But if you feel it is something you can pull off effortlessly, then why not? So, you are having a small get-together and you notice your boyfriend’s friend is sitting in a corner – probably the other people do not know her.
Why not invite her to your group and introduce her as your boyfriend’s friend or colleague. Tell the group how nice she is and about the gift she got for your boyfriend during his last birthday. Tricky, right? But if it will make you trust your boyfriend with her more, then why not?
5. Talk to Her About Her Relationship Life
When you are together – and you notice she hasn’t said anything about her boyfriend or the man in her life, bring up the question smartly and try as much as possible not to sound too intrusive.
Even when she has told you about a man in her life, always ask about him and when she will invite him over to one of your gatherings. In a nutshell, try to talk about relationships with her and how much she needs a man in her life, just the way you have her friend in yours.
6. Introduce Her to Your Male Friends or Colleagues Who are Single
Yes, if she is single, hook her up with your friends or a colleague who is single. One of the reasons why she is gravitating towards your boyfriend may be because she is single and does not have a man in her life.
You should do her a favor by introducing her to someone – or a couple of guys. After that, talk to her about it and how she feels about the guy. If she is single, make it your personal project to get her engaged – and let her know that is your plan.
7. Set Ground Rules in Your Relationship
Every relationship should have ground rules, so do not feel guilty if you decide to set a few that would make you trust your boyfriend better with his female friends. The catch here is that you need to know that these rules affect you also – perhaps even more.
For instance, if there is a ground rule that he should not take calls from his female friends once it is past a certain time, you cannot be taking calls either after that time. Yes, even if the guy is a harmless business associate.
8. Be Honest to Yourself When analyzing the Issue
One thing I have discovered over the years when it comes to issues such as these is that many ladies are not honest to themselves as far as analyzing your boyfriend’s female friends. You have to be honest with yourself when analyzing issues that concern your relationship.
How possible is it that your boyfriend will not have any female friends? When making demands as regards your boyfriend and his female friends, you have to be as honest to yourself as possible. Is there really a possible threat or are you just being unnecessarily jealous?
[Also Read; How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship]
9. Stylishly Inform Her of Your Insecurities
You should only do this after you have established some form of ‘relationship’ with her. After you have had her come over to the house or met with her a couple of times, you should consider telling her that you felt insecure about her closeness with your boyfriend.
When you say this, you should try to laugh it off, but you should pay attention to her response and attitude after that. She should show some sort of sympathy and express genuine emotions for passing the wrong impression. Take her word for it if she says she will make amends – but do not forget to laugh it all off.
10. Calm Down and Relax
Trust me when I say, sometimes, it is not as difficult as it seems. In the midst of all the possibilities running through your mind, all you need to do sometimes is to calm down and relax. Try not to overwork yourself building up possibilities and narratives that either do not exist or are as serious as they seem.
In such a situation, two things are involved – the only possibilities are either he is secretly dating her or he is not! Address these possibilities by taking a step to know what really the case is. You do not need to kill yourself in the process.
11. Separate Jealousy from Concern
I contemplated between making this my number one point on the list but decided not to place it as number one. Ladies have a more complicated mind than guys and it is no news that a lady is able to overthink an issue without proof or basis.
Before you even decide on taking steps or making a move on how to trust your boyfriend with his female friends, you need to ask yourself if what you feel is jealousy or genuine concern. What does it matter? Well, it does matter.
12. Engage Yourself with Other Aspects of the Relationship
Sometimes, the question is whether paying attention to your boyfriend’s female friend should be your priority in a relationship. Especially when there are other areas in the relationship that need attention – areas that you should best direct your energy into.
Trying to consciously make moves that will make you trust your boyfriend with his female friends more may deprive you of the time and energy needed to focus on other areas of the relationship. If you are having a second thought about this, then I advise you to let it go. [Read: How to Let Go Of Someone You Love And Move On]
13. Do Not ‘Accept’ It the Way It is
When it comes to trusting your boyfriend with his female friends, you have to take a stand. This is not an issue of accepting things the way they are when you are not really at peace with it.
You should try to talk to your boyfriend about your concerns and do all you can to make sure that you are satisfied with his response and actions. If you are trying to pretend about it, then you can never trust him. Interestingly, without trust, nothing else in the relationship can work – yes, regardless of the amount of love you both have for each other.
14. Join Them in Their Outings Together
If your boyfriend is having an outing with this female friend to ‘catch up on old times’, you could clear up your schedule and tag along. Again, this should not be aimed at proving a point or proving to the world that you are an overly protective girlfriend.
On the brighter side, this is better than sitting in the house assuming the worse and disturbing your boyfriend with calls and text messages of ‘where are you?’ and ‘aren’t you done yet?’ Think about it, you cannot assume the worst if everything is happening before your eyes.
15. Talk To Your Boyfriend About His Relationship With His Female Friend
From experience, one thing I have noticed about many ladies is that they do not tend to engage in meaningful relationship conversations with their boyfriends the right way.
Sometimes when they do, they go about it the wrong way by talking about their assumptions – which they believe is the truth, rather than talk about the pointers that point to the concern. In this case, do not do that, have a genuine conversation about your boyfriend’s female friend. Let him know that you aim to clear some doubts and trust him more with his female friend.
16. Talk to an Older Impartial Party About Your Concerns
In our lives, we all know the persons that will support all that we say and those who will remain impartial and tell you the truth, no matter what. When you want genuine answers and candid opinions that will improve your relationship and life, always gravitate towards the latter.
Find someone who fits into these criteria and talk to the person about your concerns. You should try your best to be truthful about all you tell the person, rather than play a ‘victim game’ to influence his or her opinions.
[Also Read; How to Stop Overthinking When Dating Someone New]
Let us face the fact (Yes, I like to face facts heads on, rather than beat around the bush). Sometimes, these female friends will never go away because some of them are colleagues, childhood or family friends, or friends that have been there forever.
When you are able to understand that sometimes, you will have to trust your boyfriend with his female friends, you will notice that there will be fewer problems in the relationship. Follow the tips we have highlighted above and take one step further in your quest to make your relationship heaven on earth.