Do you feel like you have to let go of someone you love? Or like it is so hard to do this that you’re stuck in an unhealthy situation? Well, this article on how to let go of someone you love, is for you! Dating experts say that one of the most challenging situations in life is the one in which you decide to let go of your loved one.
So, if you’re interested in finding out more about this topic, keep reading. Next, we share our insights on letting go of someone you love and why it is so hard to do it in the first place, and how you can achieve this with best results!
What is the definition of letting go?
Letting go of someone you love is a confusing process in which you’ll feel differently every day. For most people, a breakup implies several steps and attempts. Some fear the unbearable pain, some believe it is better to be in an unhealthy relationship rather than being alone.
Psychologists say that letting go of someone you love triggers deep pain an intense feeling of abandonment. So, it might make you hit a blockage since you’ll be too fearful of moving forward.
Why is it so hard to let go?
An internal conflict might be the culprit when it comes to the challenges of letting go of someone you love. Your brain acknowledges that a relationship is over, but it can’t make you feel like it’s over. Psychologists say this happens since the two parts of your brain aren’t in communication.
Moreover, another reason why it is so hard to let go of someone you love is low self-esteem. This can make you feel like you’re not good enough to seek a better relationship.
How to let go of someone you love
Now that you know the basics of moving forward and ending a relationship, let’s see which are the best steps to take to let go of someone you love.
1. Pay close attention to your emotional energy and separate it from your partner.
A significant step you can take to soothe your emotional pain and teach your brain it is time to let go is to perform the following exercise. Imagine and visualize letting go. Close your eyes and think of yourself as surrounded by circles with you in the middle.
Those you trust more are in the center next to you. And you’ll have to position those you trust less in the outer circles. That’s the area where you need to picture your future ex. It will help you preserve your emotional energy and teach yourself how to let go of someone you love.
2. Think about the reasons why your relationship isn’t working anymore
If you’re thinking about breaking up with your partner, you most likely have several triggers that got you this idea. So, another thing you can do is think about all the things that make your relationship hard to maintain.
3. Don’t be harsh with yourself
Did you know that the most challenging part of ending a relationship is actually feeling the loss and pain? Well, many people tend to burry this discomfort deep down, which is why they end up not letting go and fantasizing about giving it another try.
But if you want to let go of someone you love, you’ll have to feel the pain and cycle through the stages of grief. You’ll notice that you’ll start with denial, move to bargain, anger, sadness, and ultimately acceptance.
4. Have an honest talk with your partner
When you plan to let go of someone you love, you shouldn’t break up over text. Of course, if you’re too anxious about it, you can use a message. But it is best to have an honest talk with your partner and explain your reasons.
5. Get support
Since letting go of someone you love is hard on us, it is best to ask for help. A friend, a family member, or even a therapist can help you understand the confusion and pain associated with ending a relationship.
12 Tips on How to Let Go of Someone You Love
I can understand how you feel and the position you are in right now. You have tried everything you can, but things are not changing for the better. Now, you are let with no other option but to let go of someone you love.
Let us face it, this is not an easy decision and it takes a lot of bravery to get to this point. But you have to always remember that your decisions are valid and your happiness should always be a priority.
With these tips, you will be fine and will feel better after a few weeks – or days even.
1. Make a Decision to Let Go
One mistake a lot of us make when it comes to letting go of someone we love is that we do not make a decision. This has got to be the first step if you are serious with finding happiness and fulfillment.
At this point, there is no room for second guessing or second guessing your decision. You have to make the decision and act upon it. If you want to let go, you have to make the decision within yourself and let go!
2. Make a Decision Not to Turn Back
Well, in our word today, breaking up to make up is the norm in many relationships. The statement ‘I quit’ has now become a constant occurrence in our everyday conversation – and is no longer taken seriously. This is because we break up and do not stand by our decision.
If you plan on letting go of someone you love because you believe it is the best decision for you, you will need to also make a decision not to turn back no matter what – read that again! Make a decision not to turn back no matter what.
3. Take Responsibility of Your Actions
After you have taken the all-important decision to let go of someone you love, you have to take full responsibility for your actions. This is not the time to start playing the victim of acting all petty – no way!
You will have to take responsibility and accept the honest fact that you are in total control of your emotions and actions. It is only when you do this that you can truly stand by your decision and eliminate any chances of going back.
4. Do Not Fall for Cheap Emotional Blackmail
This person knows you so well and also know how much you are in love with them. So, you have to be prepared because they will try to use this knowledge against you the moment you walk out the door.
Be prepared and do not fall for any cheap emotional blackmail or schemes targeted at making you guilty for your actions. The best way to achieve this is not to give it any thoughts. In fact, do not give it any audience.
5. Cut Off the Contact with the Person
When you decide to walk out of the door, do not take anything with you – it is as simple as that. When you have made up your mind to take a decision to let go of someone you love, you have to understand that your love – or ties to that person will not die overnight.
If you make the mistake of maintaining any channel with that person like keeping conversations and contact with them, then the chances are that you will end up back in the relationship – a decision you may end up regretting for the rest of your life.
6. Define What It Means to Forgive
I can bet on it – because this is always the case. When you make a decision to let go of someone you love, they will always come back to you apologizing and asking you for forgiveness. But who says you should hold anything against them?
Yes, you heard me right. Do not hold anything against them. Forgive them with all your heart because this is one of the things that will help you to move on. However, you should define or re-define what it means to forgive. Forgiving them should not mean giving them access back into your life.
7. Make Your Sanity a Priority
When you make such an important decision, you have to take conscious steps to guide your mind. There are times when you will feel guilty and be somewhat unable to handle all the streams of emotions that will be flowing into your heart.
If you do not handle this the right way, you risk losing your sanity. You should always make your sanity and mental health a priority; by doing so, you are keeping guard against anything that will affect your mental health and emotions.
8. Guard Your Space Jealously
Do not allow this person or anyone that has to do with him into your space. After you make a decision to let go of someone you love, they will try to involve people you respect or love also, to intercede on their behalf.
Guard your space against these people just the way you are guarding your space against him. If you allow these people into your space, then you have indirectly allowed this person back into your space – and your life. Frankly, that takes you back to square one.
9. Trust the Process After the Decision
From experience, I can tell you that you will not move on as fast as you thought you would. Most times, you will still find it very hard to get them out of your head even after you follow all the rules in the book.
You will have to trust the process and follow it through to be able to reap the rewards. Do not bow down to pressure and return to your vomit. If you have made a decision to let go of someone you love, trust the process and stand by your decision.
[Also Read; How to Test a Guy to See If He Really Loves You]
10. Get closer to Your Family and Friends
If there is anytime you should surround yourself with closed family members and friends, the time is now. After you make a decision to walk away from someone you love, you need to fill that vacuum with more people you love.
If not, the gap the decision will create may be too overwhelming for you to bear. However, when surrounding yourself with close family members and friends, make sure they are not relatives and friends you are taking sides with the loved one you are trying to let go of.
11. Convince Yourself About the Relationship
Did you make a decision to let go of someone you love, and you are yet to come to terms with the fact that the relationship was not even worth it in the first place? If your answer is yes, then you are making a grave mistake.
You need to convince yourself and answer all the questions that the relationship was not worth it and that the decision you have taken is for the best. If you do not convince yourself of this, no one else can.
12. Channel the Love Elsewhere
If you are letting go of someone you love, you will need to channel that love to someone or something else. In a case where you are open for a relationship right away, you should fall in love and start a relationship as soon as you get the trigger to.
On the other hand, if you feel it is too early to go into another relationship, you can channel the love to something else, like a craft. This way you will not feel a burden or a vacuum.
[Also Read; 12 Signs He Doesn’t Love you Enough Anymore]
What you Should Know?
The process of letting go isn’t the same for all of us. Some feel it deeper, while others manage to get over a relationship a lot faster. But no matter which group you are, you should get ready to face a roller-coaster of feelings. Intense pain, grief, fear, or self-doubt are common feelings. The key is to embrace and understand them, rather than burring them deep down.
If you have decided to let go of someone you love – for the best, you should be proud, because honestly you are making the right decision.
However, you must make sure that this decision is for the best, and not because you are chasing shadows or embracing a mirage. When you truly love a person, the most important thing is how much the person loves you in return. Why do you want to let go of someone you love? Let us know in the comment session below.