If you are reading this article it could mean you want to know how to tell him you’re done being a side chick to him, and truth is, at a time, the best decision you will ever make in life is to tell him that you’re done playing the side chick role in his life! When that time comes, you will recognize it – and you should never let it pass.
You will agree that being a side chick is not as fulfilling as it looks from the outside. Do not feel guilty that you want more out of the relationship – more love, more respect, more commitment.
One important point you should always have in your mind is the fact that you deserve more than being a side chick – someone’s sex tool. I agree that it can be challenging to make this decision, and it is not as easy as the title of this article reads.
You would lose his financial support and protection if you tell him you are done being a side chick – I agree. But you should focus on the bright side – you deserve to have your own man and be in control of your future – and life.
To become number one and be in control of your life, here are twelve tips on how to tell him you are done being a side chick.
[Also Read; 12 Reasons Being a Side Chick Hurts]
How to Tell Him You’re Done Being a Side Chick
1. Be Sure You Are Actually a Side Chick
Okay, this may sound funny, but it is true. Many social media posts and cheap ‘motivational quotes’ have made a lot of ladies lose meaningful relationships.
The fact that he is not buying you all the most expensive things or measure up to your friend’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you are a side chick. So, it is essential to be very sure you are a side chick.
Our article on ‘How to Know If a Guy is Playing You or Really Likes You’ will guide you to know your actual position in a guy’s life.
2. Talk to the Person in the Mirror
If you are a side chick, but the tips in our article ‘How to Go From Side Chick to Main Chick’ does not apply in your case, you should quit.
Before you tell him that you’re done being a side chick, you need to tell it to yourself first. You need to talk to the person in the mirror and tell her you are tired of being a side chick.
You can only tell him that you’re done being a side chick after you have told it to yourself.
3. Make Up Your Mind on the Decision
Before you tell him that you’re done being a side chick, you need to make up your mind on the decision.
There is no going back on those words after you say them. You have to tell him and stand by your words, else he will never take you seriously anymore.
You stand a chance of being abused – if that isn’t happening already.
4. Build Up a Support System
Before you tell him that you’re done being a side chick, you should build up a system that you can fall back to.
If you are in a side chick relationship where you are partially or totally dependent on him, you have to be aware that the moment you tell him you are done, he will cut off the support system.
If you have not built something you can fall back on, you will find yourself crawling back to him in no time.
5. Test Your Support System
Before you actually tell him that you’re done being a side chick, you need to test run your support system.
Stay a month or more without dependency on him, depend on yourself and your newly built support system and see if you can survive. It may not be as good as what you are already used to, but it should be enough to hold you up – if not, you have to work harder.
6. Decide on the Best Way to Tell Him
This is a big decision, and it is one you need to think through and plan carefully. You have to decide the best way to tell him. Is seeing him physically a good idea? If yes, where? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.
You know him, and you know what could happen if you tell him when you are both alone. Do you want to tell him over a call or through a text message? This is the time you need to make the decision of the best way to tell him.
[Also Read; How to Go From Side Chick to Main Chick]
7. Tell Him Already
Enough of the thinking. You have to make a move and tell him – before you change your mind. This is perhaps the most challenging step, but you have to take it.
If you are tired of being a side chick, then you have to tell him that you are. There is no need prolonging your pains; take control of your life – and do it now.
8. Stand By Your Decision
One of two things is likely to happen after telling him that you’re done being a side chick. He may try to threaten you, or he will try to plead with you.
No matter the plot he sticks to, do not be moved. You need to stand by your decision and do not fall for his schemes. Remember you have thought this through, and you know it won’t be easy, but it is a decision you have chosen to make.
9. Move On with Your Life
After you make the decision to tell him that you’re done being a side chick, you need to move on. Do not make the mistake of overthinking the situation.
Hopefully, you already have a support system you can fall back on, or you are building one. You need to constantly remind yourself that the decision you made is for the best – and you need to move on.
10. Never Return to Your Vomit
There will be a lot of reasons that will make you want to go back to your vomit. You will be faced with realities that will make it seem that your life is better off being a side chick.
Work the grind and do all you can to stand by your decision. Do not go back to your vomit after you have told him that you’re done being a side chick.
11. Give Yourself a Break
One mistake many ladies make is that they jump right into another relationship after they break up their current one.
When you tell him that you’re done being a side chick, you should give yourself a break. This period will help you heal and put you in a position to analyze the situation better and move on with your life.
12. Position Yourself for a Better Relationship
You need to set your priorities right; otherwise you will end up in another side chick relationship.
The reason you told him you’re done being a side chick is to change the entire situation – not just the character in the plot. So, you must make up your mind not to end up in another side chick relationship again.
[Also Read; How to Stop Being a Side Chick in his Life]
What to do After You Tell Him You’re Done Being a Side Chick
Telling him you are done being a side chick is one thing, and what happens after you tell him is another.
The bulk of the work begins after the reality sets in, and you begin your renewed work after you have ended your side chick relationship.
Here are ten things to consider after you tell him you’re done being a side chick.
10 Ways to Move on from a Side Chick Relationship
1. Accept that you will Get Hurt
This is not the time to live in self-denial. You have to accept the fact that you will get hurt. I know we have all told you that this decision is for the better – yes, it is, but trust me when I say it won’t be easy.
Would you mind not shying away from this new reality or trying to pretend about it? Yes, you will be hurt – and you should be ready to accept this.
2. Do Not Play the Victim Game
Telling him that you’re tired of being a side chick and walking out of the relationship is not war. There is no victor, and there is no vanquished.
Do not see yourself as a victim, and do not place yourself in a situation where you will be pitied. Would you please not play the victim game; it will put you in a position that will make you lose more.
3. Be Mindful Who You Talk to
I know you want so bad to talk to somebody, but you have to be careful who you speak to about the situation after telling him you’re done being a side chick.
You don’t want to be talking to people who will encourage you to go back to him or someone who will use this piece of information against you for the rest of your life.
4. Stay Clear of His Friends
After telling him you’re done being a side chick, you need to steer clear of his friends and the company he keeps.
If he had friends who supported his decision to keep you as a side chick, you have no business maintaining a relationship with them. If you break up with him, break up with everyone in his circle.
5. Stay Clear of Places You Go to Together
This is not the time you want to be visiting the places you usually visit together. After telling him you’re done being a side chick, you will have to sacrifice going to the places you loved going together.
Going to such places will make you remember things you do not want to remember. So, you should give those places a break.
6. Do not Stalk Him on Social Media
This is one thing you should try to avoid. Please resist the temptation of monitoring him on social media and checking out his activities.
If you tell him you’re done being a side chick, you should be done for good and leave everything about him in your past.
7. Work on Yourself
This is the time you need to look inward. The job is not done – it just started. So, you should do your best to work on yourself so you can attract more meaningful relationships.
It would be best if you accepted the bitter truth that you ended up in a side chick relationship because of the way you positioned yourself in the past. Do not repeat your mistakes, and you must take conscious steps to be a better individual.
8. Get Working as Quick as You Can
Do not make the mistake of staying in the moment for too long. No matter the type of relationship, you will feel the impact of the break-up.
After you tell him you’re no longer interested in being a side chick, there is a part of you that will ask you to go back. The advantages of the relationship will become more glaring than the disadvantages. Get working as soon as you can to enable you to move on.
9. Engage in Something Meaningful
As the popular saying goes, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. You should engage in something meaningful that will take your mind off the side chick relationship.
After you have told him you’re no longer interested in the side chick relationship, you should engage in something tasking and engaging. This will help you move on quicker than you ordinarily anticipated.
10. Be Around Happy People
You are a product of your influences – and the company you keep. Steer clear from bitter people who lament nonstop about life and relationships.
It would be best if you chose to be around happy people who will make you appreciate yourself more.
No matter how this turns out, do not regret your decision to tell him that you’re done being a side chick.
Being a side chick makes you less important, and it places you in a position where you are easily used, abused, and taken advantage of. You cannot continue this way, and you need to take this bold step.
Good luck to the future as you make a decisive step towards becoming a better you.