It can be hurtful and disappointing finding out you have been nothing but his side chick especially in moments you’re already thinking you are the main girl in his life. In fact, nothing feels terrible than imagining you are someone’s girlfriend and discovering that you have been just a side chick. And so, here is how to stop being a side chick. Knowing how to quit and put a final stop to existing as a side chick is usually not easy, especially because it involves a practical approach. But then, it worth it being wary of being someone’s side chick, and then aim for a relationship more rewarding; such relationship where you are neither hidden nor undercover. It is not easy, but it is possible with these tips below.
How to Stop Being a Side Chick in his Life
1. Decide you want to end being a side chick
There are several ladies out there who choose to be a side chick. These ladies like the casualness of the affair and the absence of stress. But then again, this is your preference. Agree on the kind of relationship you dream of or if existing as a side chick is your selection. If you are tired of being a mistress, then you should change.
Look within to detect why you are a side chick. If you want to quit being a side chick, halt and look within. He may be the one who plays the field or a tosser, but basically, you are the side chick; he did not push you to be a mistress. Figure out why you are captivated by taken men.
2. Accept what came about you being a side piece
At some juncture, you have to accept what has occurred in your life. Accept the fact that you were the side chick in some affair. It has happened already as it is something you can not change. But you can fix the future and the relationships you go into from henceforth.
3. Know that you will surely get hurt.
If you decide to quit from being his mistress you may likely get hurt, and even if you continue to stay with him, you will still get hurt certainly in one or the other. Of course, leaving someone who you are romantically and emotionally attached to, is not easy. Most times it comes with the feelings of unhappiness, resentment, and grief. But, remaining with him will also make you have those feelings. Either of the two, you will get hurt. But by deciding to leave, you open the door for healing.
4. Come out of denial.
Know that as much as you would love to think he will leave his partner for you; the probability is he perhaps will not. Accept the fact and come out of the denial you are settling. Denial restrains you from going forth in your life. Your denial is keeping you to being his paramour. So dealing with this, is one important step to putting a stop to being a side chick.
5. Discuss with him.
Several ladies remain a side chick because they believe that he will make them the main girlfriend one day. Listen, the probability is that it will never come to pass, particularly if he is married. Therefore, do not assume anything! Speak to him and discover where he stands. In some limited cases, the man may be ready to quit his significant relationship and stay with you. But either way, you should sit down together and determine the stand of you both in each other’s life.
6. End the relationship
While you are done with the discussion, and you discover he is not ready to give you that serious relationship but instead tells you that he is not planning to make you the main chick, you need to end the relationship. If you choose to change, the major thing you should do is alter your relationship status. You now know that the guy you are a side chick for does not intend to stop his main relationship. If you like to stop being a side piece, quit the relationship. This tip is the initial step to giving rise to a serious change in your life. [ Read; How to breakup with someone nicely, without hurting their feelings]
7. Quit playdates or sleepovers with him.
If you want to break the pattern of being a side chick, then make some profound changes. Though it is not simple, if you do not quit it, you will not go forward in your life. If he pops into your home for a sleepover or hang out with you, you have to cut it off. The intimacy is the important thing that should stop. Do not ignore this if you really want to put a stop to being the side chick.
8. Cut him out of your life completely
To end being a side girl, stop conversing with the man who sees you as one. You have to cut all communications with this guy and stand your ground, even if he pleads with you to come back. Delete his phone number, social media, and obstruct him from any form of contact. Remember, this is very necessary for you to be able to move and maintain your decision of finding the relationship you so desire other than being a side mistress.
9. Forgive yourself for being a side chick
We are all human and as such we are bound to making a mistake at some point or the other in life. Sometimes we do things that are occasionally against our true and original involvements, but this is how we mature. You must accept whatever happened while you were there as the side chick, and then find a way to forgive yourself of any form of negative vibes and feelings this brings to you. The minute you forgive yourself, you will certainly let go and move on with your precious life. [Read; How to let go of Someone you truly love]
10. Get thrilled about the change
You are changing your life for good, and even though it is hard presently, this is a delighting change. Recognize this change as something helpful, and that will sometimes influence your life and decision for the better.
11. Focus on working on your self-esteem.
Existing a side chick honestly comes down to self-esteem. If you want to quit repeating this attitude, work on yourself, and truly acknowledge that you are worthy of total love and affection. Because whatever he was offering, you were not his whole heart, and you know that. This change is not about him, but about you; so it’s time to focus on yourself to rebuild and add more value to yourself.
12. Go out with other single and ready men
This tip does not require you to follow down the route you have been on and pursue other men who are in their own relationship. No! Rather, this time is a moment for you to change and improve your choice. Apart from concentrating on your internal problems, start hanging out with single men. There are several good and ready men out there who will love and value you, and who wouldn’t want to take you for a side chick but the main whole dish!
13. Remember your worth
It is not simple to stop a relationship when you have emotions for that individual. But this is not a genuine relationship; you are the side chick. Understand that you are worthy of love and of being with somebody who recognizes you as their partner, not a person on the side. At every point always consider yourself worth, and this will help you make a more better decision in moving away from the status of a side chick.
Reasons you Don’t Want to Be the Side Chick Anymore
1. You’re always hiding; Yes, because he has someone whom he is already into serious something with, and as such you are always undercover. This is a good reason you may consider not being the side chick anymore.
2. You Won’t bond with his parents; Remember, this guy has a woman in his life already and this is why he keeps you as his side mistress. And so it becomes impossible to introduce you to his parents or anyone significant to him.
3. You’re Hurting Another Woman like yourself; Without mentioning this, it is completely obvious. Even if you do not like the woman he is into a relationship with, you should feel at least a bit of guilt within you about what goes on at her back.
4. You have Value and Dignity; By the way, do you not think you worth all complete loving from a guy? Do you have to be all secret on the side? We sure bet, you don’t! Embrace your self worth, and find that guy who makes you the main chick just as your man’s main chick is to him.
5. More importantly, you cannot sleep over and he’s never going to leave her main chick for you. So it is time to let go.
Being a side chick is sure not what you bargained for your true self! Realize this and engage this our guide here on how to stop being a side chick in his life and make it all worthwhile for yourself.