There is no denying that being a side chick hurts. It is not a pleasant feeling, but sometimes, we do things we are not even proud of.
There are many reasons why you accepted to play the role of a side chick, and it’s not anyone’s position to judge you. But contrarily to the popular perception, no one enjoys being a side chick – and the tag comes with a lot of pain and depression.
But why does being a side chick hurt? A life of no commitment, great time, and loads of benefits – what could possibly go wrong? Below are some of the reasons for those negative side chick feelings that hurt you.
Reasons Being a Side Chick Hurts
1. You are a sex tool
Hmm. Let’s face it. Why would a guy want a side chick – other than to satisfy his insatiable sexual desires? Let’s not deceive ourselves. He doesn’t really love or care about you. All he wants is sexx.
The reality of this submission hurts so much. To be seen as nothing but a sex tool can be depressing.
2. You are there for the moment
Where does this end? Where does being a side chick lead to? As a side chick, you are only there for the moment.
The realization that you are a short-term satisfaction is one of the reasons being a side chick hurts. He will replace you once he has had his full.
3. The main chick takes all the credit
So, he is always coming to you for advice. You take care of him, make meals for him and even recommend a body lotion and perfume that will suit him well.
Who gets all this credit when people notice that his complexion is suddenly looking better and his dress sense has improved? His main chick of course!
4. You are wasting your life
You are not getting any younger, and you are wasting your time being a side chick. The dawn of this reality can be the reason for hurt and depression.
What do you stand to gain, wasting your time as a side chick when you can achieve so much? [Read; How to Go from Side Chick to Main Chick]
5. You are a shameful secret
Always hiding and being taking to hotels and secluded areas where no one can see you together isn’t a good life to live.
Being a side chick can hurt because you notice that you are nothing but a shameful secret – someone reserved for dark alleys and hotel bedrooms.
[Read Also; How to Stop Being a Side Chick in his Life]
6. He is using you
The feeling of being used is not a good one. Being a side chick hurts because you realize that he is using you and nothing about you genuinely matters to him.
The relationship is one-sided, and only one person is gaining – and it’s certainly not you!
7. You can’t look at yourself in the mirror
There is always a feeling of guilt when you are a side chick, and it hurts so much. You are not at peace with what you are doing, and your conscience always beats you for it.
This is the height you can get for being a side chick – a time when you can’t even get to look at yourself in the mirror.
8. You are used for experiments
This can be a huge reason why being a side chick hurts. You are the experimental figure with whom he wants to try out every new trending style or position.
You are the go-to girl for every experiment involving a woman, things he won’t try with his wife or main chick.
9. He doesn’t have respect for you
Being a side chick hurts so much because you find yourself in a relationship where he has no respect for you.
Respect is always a valuable part of every relationship – and it is one thing you won’t get as a side chick.
10. He can’t recommend you
So, there is one of his friends who need a serious relationship – will he recommend you? This can be a reason why being a side chick hurts.
There is nothing as bad as the feeling of being a slave. He doesn’t want to have a future with you, but he doesn’t want to release you to find happiness.
11. He doesn’t trust you
Being a side chick hurts because no matter what you do, this person will find it hard to entrust his things to you. Some even have this fear that you may likely steal from them if you see an opportunity and so he will never trust.
It hurts being with a person who doesn’t trust you despite all you do.
12. No relationship satisfaction
Being a side chick is not as satisfactory as it looks from the outside. There is no relationship satisfaction when you are in a relationship.
Without relationship satisfaction, what are you doing in a relationship? There is no need to beat around the bush. There is no relationship satisfaction in a side chick relationship.
[Also Read; 20 Side Chick Rules to Being a Perfect Side Chick]
How to Handle the Hurts from Being a Side Chick
You have had enough! You are tired of being a side chick – and you want a change – an end to the pains.
To handle the pains of being a side chick, you have to be deliberate in your actions and stand firmly by your decisions.
It would be best if you considered your feelings and your future. Hence, here are a few points on how to handle the pains of being a side chick.
1. Accept that you need a change
You cannot continue to live in self-denial. You are hurt and in terrible pain – the time for a change is now.
To handle the hurts of being a side chick, you need to accept that you need a change and work towards it.
2. Make a decision
Making decisions as a side chick can be difficult. This is because there are obvious benefits that attracted you to being a side chick in the first place.
But you cannot continue like this. It would be best if you made a decision on whether to talk to him about it or move ahead with life.
3. Talk to him about it
So, you have decided to talk to him about it. You have to determine what you want to speak to him about.
Do you want to break up with him, or do you want to express your hurt and request that he decides what he wants with you?
4. If possible, upgrade to the main chick
Yes! You can upgrade from being a side chick to the main chick – and you should, if he loves you, needs you, and is single.
Our article on how to move from side chick to the main chick explains everything you need to know about making the switch. If he is single and available and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, why remain a side chick?
5. Walk out of the relationship
If the situation demands that you walk away from the relationship – don’t look back! Sometimes, walking away from a relationship is the best decision one can make.
It is better to leave a relationship alive than in a body bag. Yes, the hurts from depression of being a side chick can lead to an early grave.
[Also Read; How to Go From Side Chick to Main Chick]
How to Know You are a Side Chick
No, it doesn’t mean you are dull! You can be a side chick and not know. He may be playing his cards right and threading carefully, so it is hard for you to tell.
Not to worry, we will let the cat out of the bag and tell you the ways to know that you are a side chick.
1. He Leaves Right After Sex
Does he leave after sex? This is not a good sign. If you are the main chick and he truly wants you in his life – and future, he will not make you a sex tool.
If he leaves after sex, it shows that’s what he is there for – and you are nothing but a side chick.
2. He is Secretive
If he doesn’t tell you about himself, activities, and plans, it is a sign that he doesn’t have you in mind. If he doesn’t have you in mind and is secretive, you are a side chick!
3. You Only See Him at Night
If your man is only coming to see you at night, then you are a side chick. There are no explanations for his actions. You need to be intelligent and conscious of his actions and act accordingly.
4. He Doesn’t Take You on Dates
How can you be the main chick and no go out on dates with your guy? If he isn’t taking you out on dates, he is taking someone else – his main chick.
5. You Don’t Know Where He Lives
Where do you always meet? If he doesn’t take you to his house or you have no idea where he lives, then it is a huge sign that you are a side chick.
If you didn’t know this was a sign, now you do!
How to Move on After a Side Chick Relationship
This is not talked about enough. A lot of therapists and many publications say a lot about why you should not accept the role of a side chick.
They furnish you all the reasons why you should not consider yourself a side chick – and rightly so. But they do not offer advice or solutions to the withdrawal phase that follows.
There were many reasons why you were in that relationship in the first place – even as a side chick.
They were obviously some benefits. Now that you have put an end to the relationship, how do you move on? We have provided the answers.
7 Ways to Move on After a Side Chick Relationship
1. Cry if you need to
Society has made it seem that crying is a sign of weakness – it isn’t. Sometimes, it is acceptable to cry. By crying, you will be awakening to the reality of your situation.
After leaving a side chick relationship, it is acceptable to cry if need be. Do not hold yourself back.
2. Check Yourself
You need a reality check and determine how you ended up as a side chick in the first place.
Frankly, you deserve much more. After the stint, you need to have a reality check and determine the areas of your life you’ll need to work on.
3. Work on Yourself
After you discover the areas you need to work on, do not sit back. Go to work right away and correct everything you can.
This will not only help you to be a better person, but it will also help you attract the right man for you.
4. Work on your Self Esteem
The trauma from ending a side chick relationship can affect your morale and self-esteem. You may begin to see yourself less.
You need to consciously work on your self-esteem, not just to recover what you lost but also to improve.
5. Cut Every Existing Channel with your Ex
Trust me; this is not the time you want to be checking his social media activities. After walking out of a side chick relationship, you need to cut every existing channel with him.
This will help you to heal and move on from that episode.
6. See Other Available Men
Do not make the mistake of remaining in a pity state and depriving yourself of seeing other men.
When you do this, you give yourself the room to miss him and increase the chances of going back to the side chick relationship. Don’t! You should move on and meet other available men.
He has replaced you with another side chick; you should replace him with a better man.
7. Refuse the Circle
You should be careful not to end up in another side chick relationship. The biggest mistake you can make is to come out from one side chick relationship, only to get into another one.
Refuse the temptation of accepting a guy into your life who will take you back to your vomit.
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