Before we begin on how to deal with a long distance crush, we have to establish one fact – having a crush is completely normal.
Frankly, there is nothing to be ashamed of, and you do not need to beat yourself because you are crushing on someone who is far away. It’s got nothing to do with age or maturity – anyone can fall in love – and fall flat!
As a result of the advent of the internet and social media, we can gain access to be people around the globe with a click. While we may not be able to access them physically, we can learn about them and even have access to their lifestyles.
This level and opportunity for accessibility increase the chances of crushing on people outside our immediate reach. The funny thing is that we can crush on someone, know everything about them and follow their daily routine for many years. Yet, they have no idea of our existence – how hurting.
Having a long distance crush is not an issue, but how you handle the situation is all that matters. In one way or the other, we have all had that feeling. So, you are not alone – we are all in this together.
For someone who has experienced this first hand as I have, you will agree that having a crush is perhaps more intense than falling in love. The fact that this person you have fallen for is far away and possibly doesn’t know – or care less, whether you exist makes the feeling more intense.
If not handled right, having a long distance crush will not only destroy your love life and relationships, it can ruin you as an individual. What makes this situation peculiar and overly difficult to handle is the reality of how weak you are and enslaved to your feelings.
You have a long distance crush but want to be in control of the situation? I’ve been in your shoes before, and I’ve got you covered. Check out this 12 ways on how to deal with a long distance crush!
How to Deal With a Long Distance Crush – 12 Ways to Handle It!
1. Define your Reason and Motive
Having a long distance crush is not something you want to joke with. You must have heard people say that only kids crush on people. Well, that’s not true.
Having a long distance crush is a serious issue which you have to make a decision on. You will have to sit yourself down and ask yourself the reason behind your sudden feeling for this person and what you stand to gain.
Your candid answers to these questions will help a long way in assisting you to make a rational decision.
2. Not a Do-or-Die Affair
I know having a long distance crush can place you in a very susceptible and peculiar situation. I have been there before and thoroughly understand the onus of the situation.
However, you must know that it is not as difficult as it seems. To have a long distance crush is not a do-or-die affair, and nothing will happen to you if you decide to remove all thoughts of this person from your heart.
3. Take Care of You
In this position, there is only one person you should care about, and that is you! When dealing with a long distance crush, you should care about your feelings – and its effects on your general well-being.
As you deal with a long distance crush, the one person you have to have in mind is you. I know you truly have strong feelings for this person. But ask yourself one thing; is this feeling healthy for you?
4. If You Can, Reach Out
When you have a long distance crush, don’t just sulk and brood in a corner. Reach out – if you can! Like the famous saying, ‘it is a free world.’
In my opinion, if you can reach out to this person via email or social media – do! After all, what is the worst that could happen? Reach out and get over with it already.
5. Don’t discuss it with Friends
This is a big red flag. If you have a long distance crush, you have no business discussing it with your friends. Having a long distance crush is something no one else can understand.
It is a peculiar feeling, and you won’t feel better by telling everyone around you about this feeling. In fact, having a long distance crush should be your personal issue. Let it be your own little secret.
[Read Also; How long does a crush last?]
6. Do Not Stalk
I totally understand the feeling. You want to check out every update on their social media handles – but don’t! It would be best if you do not make it a habit to monitor everything they do and check out everywhere they’ve been.
The truth is that the more you do this, the more you find things that will hurt you. If you want to deal with a long distance crush the right way, do not stalk them!
7. Don’t Take Their Love Life Personal
You have a crush on him, but he has someone else in his life – so what? Is this enough to kill yourself over?
You cannot take a crush too personally. The horrible feeling of having a long distance crush is enough issue in itself. Do not make it any more complicated by beating yourself up because of their personal love life.
8. Accept the Bitter Truth
Accept the bitter truth – this is a crush, and it may end that way! A crush can lead to many things, and you may build a special relationship – or even marriage from a long distance crush.
But also, you have to accept that there is a higher probability this will lead to nowhere.
Going by statistics, the chances of meeting your long distance crush and building up an exciting relationship are near zero. Accept this bitter truth and know peace.
9. Focus Your Attention on what is Real
One of the best ways to handle a long distance crush is to focus on what is real. Having a long distance crush is like having a love affair in fantasy.
You cannot continue to build castles in the air and live in a fool’s paradise. This is not real – do not lose your focus on what’s real!
10. Don’t Allow the Situation to Affect Your Life
If you do not handle a long distance crush the right way, the situation will bring you to your knees.
Having a long distance crush is a long lonely dark road, and if you are not conscious of the situation, it will push you until you get lost. Finding your way back after getting lost in a long distance crush is not an easy feat.
11. Don’t Build Your Dreams on a Long Distance Crush
It is very easy to get distracted and build your dreams on a long distance crush. You begin to see yourself as their future partner – you picture them in your life.
Well, this is a big distraction. Not only will this affect your current relationships, but it will also give you a false picture of yourself – and it will ruin your reality.
12. Move on Quickly
The best way to handle a long distance crush is to move on quickly. You cannot afford to remain in that state.
I mean, this is not meant to be a permanent position. It is just for the moment. You should enjoy it while it lasts – and move on with reality as quickly as possible.
[Read Also; 10 Ways to Impress your Crush And Make Them Like You]
How to Get Over a Long Distance Crush
Having a long distance crush can be a wonderful feeling. It comes with so much excitement, and you just want to know everything about this mystery person that has taken over your entire world.
You dream of a future together, and you want nothing but to have them in your life. This can be more exciting than it sounds, and no one can understand the feeling.
It may take a while, but one day, you are going to discover that this is all a façade. You need to get over this situation and get over the long distance crush in order to get your life back together.
In the following points, I will share the surest ways to get over a long distance crush without hurting yourself in the process.
How to Deal With a Long Distance Crush – 5 Ways to do this!
1. Do not Live in Self Denial
The first step to getting over a long distance crush is to accept your feelings. You have to admit that this is all nothing but a crush.
I admit that this could be difficult because people in this position tend to battle with self-denial continually. We mentioned this earlier, do not be ashamed of this.. Having a long distance crush is perfectly normal.
2. Give Yourself Time to Heal
In reality, getting over a crush usually does not take long. It comes as a wildfire and often goes down after it has consumed everything in its path.
It can hurt when your hopes come to naught, and you see that the entire beautiful picture fade away before your eyes.
After it fades away, it leaves some hurting behind. You will need to give yourself time to heal. Try doing something relaxing and fun, like going to a spa or engaging in physical activities.
3. Be Realistic
The only way to get over the fantasy of a long distance crush is to be honest with yourself. You have to accept reality. This is all over, and you have to move on.
You need to be truthful to yourself and accept that you have outgrown that phase and need to move on with your life. Without focusing on reality, you will lose everything you ever built.
4. Avoid Breaking Down and Loosing Out
It is common with people who maintained a long distance crush – even after they have moved on, they never become the same again.
A part of them dies, and this is not a good thing. You have to stay strong and avoid breaking down due to the realities of the situation. Like I mentioned earlier, this is not a do-or-die affair.
5. Stay off the internet and social media
This is not the time to be stalking them on social media. If you genuinely want to get over this person, do not monitor them around on social media.
Also, do not monitor people who fall into the same category with them. Hence you will end up getting right into another situation. After you accept the actual reality of having a long distance crush, try and stay off social media as much as you can.
What to do on a first date with your crush
First dates can be overwhelming – especially when it is with a long distance crush. It is possible that this is not the first time you have both seen each other, but it is the first time you are seeing each other in the wake of this new reality.
I presume you have opened up about your feelings, hence the date. But you have to be conscious of the fact that opening up about your feeling is one thing and going on a first date with a long distance is another.
How you handle the latter will determine whether you will be termed a ‘pervert’ and blocked off, or the relationship will be maintained – and could lead into something you will live to be proud of.
Below are points to note when you go out on a first date with a long distance crush.
1. Keep an Open Mind
It would be best if you keep an open mind when going on a first date. Just because the other party agreed to meet with you doesn’t mean they are cool with being with you.
They may agree to the date so they can tell you in person that they are not interested in having a relationship with you. So, keep an open mind and expect anything.
2. Pick the Right Outfit
This is not the time to pass a wrong impression. When going out on a first date with a long distance crush, it is best to dress moderately. You don’t want to pass the wrong impression too early.
How you dress to the date will give your long distance crush a perception about you – and you don’t want to paint the wrong picture – do you?
3. Make the Date Memorable
So, you want to make sure you see this person again – or at least maintain the relationship? Make the date a memorable one for them.
One way you can achieve this is by keeping the conversation exciting. Do not make the date boring. You wanted this! You have been dreaming of this for some time – and this is your one chance to make it happen. Take your chance!
Do you have an experience to share? Or is there a topic you will like us to write on? Kindly drop your comments in the session below, and we will attend accordingly.