How to Confirm a Date Without Sounding Desperate

Learning how to confirm a date without sounding desperate is an art. Naturally, confirming a date can come with so much anxiety, but how you handle the situation will determine whether you will be taken seriously or not.

Regardless of gender, no one likes going on a date with a desperate person. Desperation is a big turn-off for people – male or female, and you stand a better chance at having a great date if you confirm the date without sounding desperate.

Don’t get the picture wrong. You do not need to be a serial flirt or a Casanova to master the art of confirming a date without sounding desperate.

Instead, it involves a fair share of maturity and respect for both yourself and your date.

When you sound desperate while confirming a date, the chances are that the person will not go with you on a second date – even if they honor the first.

Sometimes, you may not get so lucky and will have to endure the humiliation of being stood up or a last-minute cancelation.

You must know that it is polite always to confirm your date before time. Not only does this shows that you are courteous, but it also proves to the other person that you are genuinely interested in them and looking forward to spending time with them.

As sweet as this may sound, if not handled right, you may be sending the wrong message and ruining a perfect opportunity of meeting someone who will change your life forever.

In this article, I have highlighted simple ways you can confirm a date without sounding desperate. Follow the suggestions, and you will pass the right message and be on track to a fruitful relationship.

8 Ways to Confirm a Date without Sounding Desperate

1. Allow Her Fix Date and Time

When you ask a lady to fix the date and time for a date, they are most likely to pass on the offer. When they do, keep calm and do not act like you were waiting all along to force a choice down their throats.

Offer a few suggestions and ask them to make a choice. If they make a choice, fine. If they don’t, feel free to suggest a place.

The difference here will be that you have created an impression that you are offering a location because you want to help them out, not because you are desperate.

As for a time for the date, ladies will naturally pick a time that is convenient for them. If they don’t, kindly insist.

That way, you have played them on to make a commitment to the date; and will save yourself the excuse that she needs to cancel because she wasn’t free at the time you chose for the date.

[Also Read; 10 Ways On How to Succeed At Online Dating Successfully]

2. Go Straight to the Point

I know you are excited about going out on a date with her. You have been waiting for this opportunity for a long time, and now it is finally here.

When confirming the date, you don’t want to sound desperate by allowing your emotions to take the best of you and lead you to beat around the bush.

You could simply confirm the date by texting or calling to say you wanted to confirm if she was still in for the date. Simple!

3. Talk like a Business Man

So, you have both confirmed that you will be seeing at 6:30 pm, and you are eager to confirm that the date will hold.

You could contact her and ask if you could go to the movies or take a short drive around town after the date. This way, you are not asking about the date or sounding desperate. You are asking about her availability after the date.

This way, it appears you are not desperate about the date anymore, and indirectly, you have confirmed her availability for the date. She will either inform you of her availability to spend more time after the date or that there is something she has planned after the date.

Well done, date confirmed!

4. Be Positive In Your Approach

To be positive means you are already planning the date even before you get her confirmation.

Rather than a call to confirm the date, try calling to inform her of what you want to discuss during the date or what she would want you to wear.

You could ask her to remind you of something during the date, which you would like to tell her about. Not only does this spur her curiosity, but you also have your date confirmed.

5. Balance Your Timing

Timing is crucial if you want to confirm a date without sounding desperate.

In order not to sound desperate, you cannot confirm a date too early – and you surely do not want to confirm too late – and risk finding out that she has changed her mind.

If you cannot confirm too early or too late, when do you confirm? You have to create a balance and confirm mid-day on the day of the date.

6. Do Not Request for Double Confirmation

If she has already confirmed the date, there is no need requesting for a double confirmation.

Calling or texting to find out if she has changed her mind or is getting ready for the date will make you sound desperate.

Keep your excitement or curiosity to yourself and remain as calm as you possibly can.

Pestering her about a date she has already confirmed will make her cancel even if she was initially interested in going out with you.

[Also Read; How to Attract a Girl Without Talking to Her]

7. Keep Her in Suspense

Do not tell her you will pick her up after work or that you will be closing early because of the date. This will make you sound desperate.

Instead, tell her you will go and take your bath after work or drop by the mall to get a few things before showing up for the date. This will prove to her that you are not desperate and that the date is not the only thing on your mind.

8. Handle Cancelation like a Pro

So, she tells you that she can no longer make it for the date at the last minute. How do you handle the situation? Do you bang the call on her or react furiously?

How you handle a cancelation will prove to her whether you are desperate or not. In a situation where she cancels a date – for whatsoever reason, handle the situation like a pro.

Tell her to inform you of any other date and time she would be free for a date and show concern about her reason for cancellation. Offer assistance if need be, and trust me, she will fix the next date – or even change her mind on the one she canceled earlier!

Why Should You Confirm a Date?

I know you are thinking, ‘we already spoke about this last week; why do I need to confirm?’

Also, a lot of people believe confirming a date gives the other person the opportunity to cancel or reschedule.

Let’s see it this way, informing you beforehand during your confirmation that she can’t make a date is better than leaving you hanging. Which would you prefer?

There are various reasons why you should confirm a date beforehand; below are a few reasons.

[Also Read; 15 Signs She Wants You to Notice Her And Make a Move]

5 Reasons Why You Should Confirm a Date

1. To Be Sure the Date is Happening

When it comes to dates, you can never be too sure. You need to confirm even after the date, time, and location has been fixed.

The other person can cancel for any reason. In order not to be stood up and humiliated, make sure you confirm the date before setting out.

2. To Help You Plan

When you confirm a date, you are able to plan adequately for the occasion. As a result of your confirmation, you are aware of any last-minute changes and are able to prepare adequately.

You don’t want to go on a date in a 5 Star Dinner Restaurant wearing a pair of shorts, tee-shirt, and face cap – because you originally planned to take her to the beach.

3. To Pass the Right Impression

By confirming a date, you are indirectly checking up on your date partner. This will go a long way in passing an impression that you care.

The impression you create before the date could be what defines the rest of the date.

4. To Start a Conversation before the Date

Sometimes when you call or text to confirm a date, you are informed of an update which will serve as a basis of your discussion when you go on a date.

This saves you the awkward moment where you are trying to figure out what to talk about.

5. Be a Gentleman or Lady

Confirming a date is simply classy. It proves that you have courtesy. You will be seen as a gentleman or lady – is there anything else you would be rather seen as?

Perception matters a lot, and although you do not want to sound desperate when you confirm a date – the truth is that it is worse not to confirm at all.

How to Ask a Guy Out on a Date without Sounding Desperate

The world is changing, and if you are still around people who feel it is wrong for a lady in her right senses to ask a guy out on a date, then you are clearly in the wrong room.

Despite the gradual acceptance of ladies asking guys out in our society today, some grey areas still prevent the act. Chief among these concerns are those nursed by the ladies themselves.

A lady may really like a guy and want to go on a date with him, but she will decline to ask him out. The reason? She doesn’t want to be perceived as being desperate.

You cannot blame ladies for having this concern; after all, it is easy to take advantage of a desperate person.

However, many ladies do not know that there are ways to ask a guy out without sounding desperate. Check them out.

4 Ways to Ask a Guy Out Without Sounding Desperate

1. Play the ‘Desperation Game’

It is funny how you can play the game of desperation in order not to appear desperate. The irony is romantic in itself.

So, you suddenly tell this guy that you will need his assistance giving you a lift home because you accidentally misplaced your car keys – but you have a spare in the house; whereas, your car keys are sitting pretty in your purse.

Well played!

2. Ask Him if he has a Girlfriend

Okay, guys understand that when a lady inquires about their relationship, it is because she is interested in him.

So, you can play naïve and ask him if he has a girlfriend. Everything else is history – because he will tell you he doesn’t, and even if he admits that he does, there is a high tendency, he may want to ask you out on a date.

3. Tell your friend to do the job for you

Okay, this is a cute game to play if you know him from work, school, the neigbourhood, or any other gathering.

You can ask a friend – who knows him too, to enter into an ‘I think my friend has feelings for you’ conversation with him.

Trust me, this works every time. If he is interested, he will surely make a move towards you and ask you out.

4. Get friendly with him

The oldest rule by the book is to get friendly with him. There is only one way to know if a guy is for you, and it is to go close to him.

In no time, he will ask you out himself – unaware that you already asked him out with your actions – and reactions.

[Also Read; How to tell if a Woman is Checking You Out]


One thing we must all agree to is the fact that there is no universal rule that everyone must abide by when it comes to dates. But let’s face the facts; no one will go on a date with someone that is sounding desperate.

The moment you are perceived as being desperate, there is a high chance that the other person will give you an excuse to cancel the date.

You have nothing to lose being a perfect gentleman and not sounding desperate when you confirm a date

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