It hurts when someone we love leaves us for another person! You meet a man you love, and although things go flawlessly for the first few months, he finally broke up with you, and some months later, you discovered that he has connected with another lady or even worse, married. Wondering why he chose her over you or preferred the other lady over you can take over your mind. It can prevent you from moving on, living your life, and bring self-distrust into genuine relationships.
Sometimes, there were no clues that he will leave you for another woman, and you felt like there was a great connection between the both of you. It will not be extremely long before realizing that some men do not understand what they like or want. And you can not recognize what a man wants or expects when he has you yet selects somebody else over you.
So, check out below possible reasons he could have picked another girl over you; While these points are not exhaustive, there are could be other possible reasons, and in most cases there is absolutely no tangible reasons why he chose her over you! [ Read; How to Deal with Saying “I Love you” and Not Hearing It Back]
Why he Chose her Over You; Possible Reasons He Picked Her Over You
1. Wrong time: Sometimes, it is due to timing. It may seem like the right time for you to marry when you were with him, but if a guy is unwilling to settle down, hardly will he. You can be the best girlfriend in the world, but if he is not prepared to engage or tie the knot within the duration of your relationship, there is nothing you can work out about it.
2. She is more confident in herself: If he is the kind of guy who preys on uncertain women to monitor or exploit, most men do not find insecure ladies to make incredible life-long spouses. Confidence is desirable, and insecurity is upsetting. No guy likes to be with an insecure woman eternally.
Real beauty comes from within, and if you lack self-esteem, you will not be very desirable to him after a few moments. Rather, the more self-deprecating you are, the more he will begin to look for another woman. By not telling him thanks every time he gives you praise, you are all but pushing him into the arms of another more positive woman who will appreciate his credits instead of doubting them.
3. Sexual similarity: When it gets to sexual compatibility, a man prefers a lady because she satisfies the sexual measures that he has for the woman in his life. He loves the manner she kisses, the ways she changes positions, and how she communicates sexually. Provided the selection between two women he is equally captivated to, he will choose the one who is more similar to him sexually. [ Read; Signs Of Unspoken Mutual Attraction]
4. She does not pressure him: Guys are accustomed to being pressured when it comes to dating; that is why they often divert away and run in a different direction whenever a woman begins to challenge their motives about being in a relationship. You have the right to find out where he sees things driving to with the both of you, but if you pressure him to analyze the relationship too early, it will perhaps just push him even further away from you.
The woman he decided to be with was so joyous with her own life, and she did not have any moment to think about where she stood with him. She was not so anxious to lock him down; it made him like her even more.
5. She is a lot of fun: Everybody wants a little bit of fun in their lives, and if you intend to settle down with somebody, the clear choice would be to select the individual who knows how to have fun. Perhaps you were extremely serious for him, or maybe you were not keen to play with him and indulge in fun date entertainments. The lady he eventually chose to be with is possibly the girl that was always cheerful, she would schedule dates that base on thrill-seeking movements, and every time the both of them go out, he already knew that they were going to have a blast.
In this instance, there is certainly nothing you could have achieved to make him select you over her. It all comes down to similarity, and she brought something new to the table that appealed to him.
6. Your behavior towards him is bad: Most individuals know when they are cruel. If you are abusive, you will most probably turn out to be deserted. If you as a man are being insulted, no one in the world would assess you or wonder why you chose another girlfriend over your current partner. It would be best if you learned always to treat your partner nicely. [Read; How to Impress your Crush And Make them Like you]
7. His parents may have liked her more: Parents always play a huge role in many guy’s opinions to marry. Parents have been a justification for numerous breakups. Nevertheless, it is better to be single than court with somebody who is too weak to defend you when parents are involved.
8. Your goals are too different for it to be feasible: Occasionally, we get so closed in craving for a relationship with somebody that we ignore to be realistic about our goals and ambitions. Suppose a guy realizes that your life goals would hinder him from pursuing his destinations. In such cases, the problem will quickly be the most significant difficulty in getting him to devote to the relationship. And this is possibly why he would another lady over you.
9. Similar social style: The reason why he picked her over you could be due to a distinction in your social manners. Guys tend to connect with women who have the exact social style because it prevents many potential relationship problems. It means the both of you were not as compatible as you felt. None of you should have to alter yourselves to make the other person happy. [Read; How to Stop Being the Side Chick In His Life]
How to Get Over When he Chose her over You
1.. Crying Over It: At first, you have the full liberty to weep, and nobody will judge you as it does not matter. The crying is for you; you can cry it out. Only be safe that he does not see you crying. Your ex is not honorable to look at your eyes ever again, and he does not have the right to know that he caused pain to the only lady who wanted to make him joyous.
2. Forgive yourself: You have to forgive yourself because it is not your fault. It is tough for you to believe that it was not something you did that sent him off but instead that he was not the perfect man for you. As whatever can occur, will occur.
3. Forgive him: It is said that if you can’t set your anger, then channel it. Anyway, holding grudges would be pointless. He did not realize what he was losing at that particular moment when he chose her, and even if he did, holding grudges would be pointless, and can only hurt you more.
4. Do not blame his new woman: There is nothing the new lady can do when she discovers that he chose her over you. She will not let him go for you. People are greedy, and you should know that presently. Possibly she is searching for something, and she sees it in him. [ Read; Hidden Signs You’re Not the Only One He’s Sleeping With]
If they both fall in love, then holding resentments against her will not assist you in healing. In this instance, you will eventually know the persons who you can trust and the people who will stab you in the back when they discover the chance. Love does not select its prey; love loves.
5. Let it go: Let go of everything that does not satisfy you any longer. Save the good memories and the lessons you have learnt, because they will allow you to be stronger, but you do not need to hold on to your ex and the feelings you had for him. Let go and be free of everything that transpired between you and that’s one way you could do yourself a great favor. [ Read; How to Let Go Of Someone You Love And Move On]
6. Focus on yourself and build your self-esteem: It is difficult to try not to feel the betrayal, but you need to forsake it for yourself. He is not coming back to you because he has his happiness with him. You have to make decisions on how to be happy with yourself.
The road is tough, but you merit to be cherished and liked. So pull yourself together and make use of the lessons you learned in your future. Do not think about what has happened to you and do not emotionally be in crisis. Concentrate on your ambitions and everything that moves with it.
Do things you like and the stuff that you did not create the time for when you were with him. If you need to do something extreme, like a makeover, then do it. Be certain that you are doing it for yourself and not because you want to alter your appearance for another reason. Remember, do everything for the building of your self-esteem and not for anyone else. [Read; Signs Your Marriage Is Over And there Is Nothing You Could Do About It]
When you begin to concentrate on yourself, your dignity rises, and your comfort follows suit. This will possibly help entertain fresh opportunities into your life, fresh and great emotional opportunities. The new person might be the one that you have that undeniable relationship with. Even if it is not, you can have some fun and enjoy yourself for some time.