12 Reasons On Why Someone Would Pretend to Love You

There are many reasons why someone would pretend to love you. But, as surprising as it may sound, many people can go the extra mile to pretend that they love you – but they don’t!

When someone pretends to love you, it always means there is a hidden motive. Therefore, you must be careful because there is never a good intention when someone pretends to love you. [Read; Obvious Signs your Man pretends He Loves you]

A partner will only do this to get something in return or exhibit a personal vendetta on you or someone else. But, yes, this is where it gets interesting! Someone may pretend to love you to use you and dump you, to satisfy his selfish gains or get at someone else.

Before we begin, it is essential to note that pretending you love someone is not gender-sensitive. What this means is that we cannot point our fingers at a particular gender and label them as the most pretenders.

Men can pretend to love when they genuinely do not – just like women. But, interestingly, one significant factor that brings both groups together when it comes to a sensitive issue such as this – is the motive.

The primary reasons why many people pretend to love – when they don’t, in a relationship are practically the same – irrespective of gender!

Now, let us take this one after the other. Let’s get into it, shall we?

Below, I will list and highlight the top twelve reasons why someone would pretend to love you even when their love is not real. To guide you, I have also included signs to look out for to know that someone is pretending to love you – when they genuinely do not!

12 Reasons Why Someone Would Pretend to Love You

1. He wants you but doesn’t need you

The first reason someone would pretend to love you is that they want you but do not need you. When someone desires you for selfish reasons, they can come into your life and pretend to love you.

What is most surprising is that someone can pretend for many years without the other partner knowing. They will remain in your life until they have had their full and satisfied their wants. All they are there for is to satisfy their selfish gains, and they will pretend for as long as possible until this is achieved to the fullest.

2. He hasn’t discovered his purpose

Someone can pretend to love you to pass the time. Many people do not know what they want for themselves yet. They do not know where they will be in the next couple of years or what they will be doing.

However, they believe that to be with someone is a norm, and so they enter into a relationship. In many cases, people who initiate this type of relationship often pretend to love their partners.

One primary reason he is pretending is that the relationship is not defined; without purpose, your partner is only pretending to love you. He cannot love you because true love has an end goal and a mutually beneficial purpose.

3. To prove a point to himself

Someone can pretend to love you to prove a point to himself. A lot of persons are battling inferiority complex and may have battled same in the past.

So, when an opportunity presents itself for them to be with someone that they once perceived out of their league, they will play the part to prove a point to themselves. A person in this position can pretend to love you for as long as possible just for self-gratification.

A situation like this is often possible when the person involved could make some money or acquire a top position.

4. To prove a point to others

Someone can pretend to love you just to prove a point to others that he can have a relationship with you. It is a common occurrence to see men brag about how they can get any woman they desire.

To prove their point, someone may pretend to love you just so you fall for them, and they are able to prove their point to others.

5. Bragging Rights

In our world today, the woman a man dates can increase or decrease his bragging rights and contributes significantly to how he is perceived in society.

Hence, many men go the extra mile to pretend. When some men believe that having a relationship with a particular lady will increase their bragging rights among a group of friends or in society, they will do all it takes – including pretending, to get the lady.

This is why ladies need to be careful and wary of falling for a man because of his gifts and gestures.

6. He Wants Children

As shocking as this may sound, someone may pretend to love you because he wants to have children with you. Many people may laugh at this, but it is so true.

There are often two reasons behind this motive; one is anchored on the desperation to get children who look like you. The second could be because they want to have children but are not interested in marriage or in marrying you.

From as far back as one can imagine, children have always been a decisive factor in relationships for many people. Someone can pretend to love you just because he wants to have children for whatsoever reason.

7. Personal Vendetta

Men are known to nurse grudges when it comes to women. There is a famous saying that women and money are the only things that can turn two friends into enemies, no matter what is at stake.

Someone can pretend to love you to get back at you. It may be possible that you attended the same school or lived in the same environment but never gave him attention. It could also be because you refused his proposals before or somehow did something that hurt.

Interestingly, to date and dump you just to break your heart and hurt you may be the reason why someone would pretend to love you.

8. Societal Responsibility Stereotype

Someone may pretend to love you because he wants society to perceive him as a responsible individual.

One of the stereotypes in our society today that should be debunked is the perception that married or in serious relationships are responsible. What is perhaps more surprising is that many companies will use this as criteria for employment, and many religious organizations use it as criteria for holding leadership positions.

Someone could pretend to love you just to be perceived as responsible and be selected for specific roles.

9.  Get back at his Ex

Men do not like to be on the losing side. They always want to be the one with the last laugh. They prefer to have the last words and close the conversations.

Someone can pretend to love you as a way of getting back to his Ex. His Ex may know you, and the reason he is pretending to love you is so that he can put it all on her face.

Many guys often pretend to love a lady, whereas their original aim is to use that lady as spite to their Ex., as a way of proving that they have moved on – when they haven’t! Or that they got someone prettier, or someone who their previous spouse well knows.

10. Material Gains

In our world today, many guys opt into a relationship and pretend to love because of your money. Gone are the days when women were the only ones who go into relationships to enrich themselves.

These days, the tables have turned, and many guys will pretend to love you to get your money – nothing else. There are often different schemes and ploys they employ to achieve their motives; we will bring you all that in another article.

11. Family Status

Someone could pretend to love you because of your family name and status. Do not be surprised that someone will pretend to love you because of the name you bear and the connection your family has in society.

If he sees that he has a lot to benefit from his association with your family, he can continue to pretend for as long as possible until he gets it – and more.

12. Career Preference

Somebody can pretend to love you because of his career preference or progression. What this means is that he may want promotion or job opportunities from someone in your network. So, the easiest way to achieve this, is through you.

Many guys will pretend to love you so that they can leverage their ambitions on your connections.

Now that we have answered some of the “Why” reasons someone would pretend to love you, let us look into some of the obvious signs that indicates to you that this person pretends to love you when they do not love you in reality.

5 Signs that Prove Someone is Pretending to Love You

Understanding the reasons why someone would pretend to love you is an excellent step to emotional freedom. The next step, however, is to look out for the signs and take action where necessary.

These are some of the signs to look out for to know if someone is pretending to love you.

1. They Want to Know Everything About You, But Do Not Say Enough about Themselves

When people pretend to love you, they tend to ask about everything and everyone in your life and background. It is kind of like they are profiling you.

The exciting thing is that they will not tell you about themselves. Even when they do, they will mention the points but will never go into the specifics or try to elaborate. In essence, they want to know you but do not want you to know them.

2. They Talk About Their Failed Relationships

When someone shows interest in you but starts by saying how much they have been hurt in their past relationships, RUN! This is a red flag!

If they start by saying they have given up on love, relationship, and marriage because of what they have gone through, please do not persuade them otherwise and say you will change their perception because that is exactly where they want you to be.

If they say they do not trust the opposite gender – until they met you, because of what they have gone through, it’s a scam!

Many persons do this to manipulate their partners into trying to change their perception about love, relationships, and marriage, whereas all they genuinely want to do is use you.

3. They Want You to Prove Your Faithfulness and Commitment Every time

When someone is always asking you to prove your faithfulness and commitment to the relationship or towards them, it is a red flag.

They often tie your proofs to actions. Once your partner starts asking for assurances like “introduce me to your parents and family, meeting in isolated places, nude photos, video calls to confirm your location, sex chats, etc.” There is a problem.

4. Emotional Torture

A person who loves you will not like to see you in emotional trauma. If someone is constantly putting you through emotional torture, especially whenever you refuse to grant favors such as money, gifts, or sex, there is a problem.

Emotional blackmail is a tool many pretenders often use to get what they want from partners they pretend to love. If a person does not love you genuinely, they will engage in emotional blackmail in order to get what they want from you.

5. They Have a Special Friend

Pretenders often have someone of the opposite sex they claim is their best friend or Ex – someone they run to for advice and even report you to.

They tell you that the person is very supportive. In an instance where the person is an Ex, they try to justify the reason for the break-up and tell you that they continue to remain very close friends despite their break up.

Well, if this isn’t a red flag, then what is?


As you can see, there are many reasons why someone would pretend to love you. We must be cautious and pay adequate attention to people when they approach us because not all motives are genuine.

Someone can pretend to love you for as long as they are getting what they want. Even if they are not getting it, they can remain in the relationship for many years until they do.

We must be careful to fall for Schools of Thought that bear cheap assertions that a person’s love for you can develop with time, which may affect their initial motive. Such beliefs are wrong from the root and have no substance.

Do not be fooled by cheap Soap Operas and fairytales. It is very difficult for a person to change their motive for pretending to love you. If the motive isn’t genuine and the love isn’t real from the onset, very little can remedy the situation. Bad tress does not bear good fruits!

Do you have an experience to share? Or is there a topic you will like us to write on? Kindly drop your comments in the session below, and we will attend accordingly.